Dear November.

It's official: the time has changed, recalling memories from the grave -- Roadtrip Season 2012 and beyond. Crave it, feel that tremble deep in my bones, aching for open horizons and miles miles miles towards some vaguely plotted destination. The spontaneity of November, the crystal of my existence. Eyes peeled and ears to the ground for new music, long lost gems of grace and threads of soulsplinters, cracks in pavement where up rise bravehearts and dearhearts -- the ones who leave and the ones who stay in the nonchalant irregularity of life. Hold on, let go, fill your limbs with gratitude. 

Also, I can officially crochet scarves in public without weird stares and whispers that abound. 
I'm kidding. 

October flew by without so much as a wave goodbye and good riddance; I've made my peace and that's all that matters. 

Happy Tuesday lovelies, holy open mic night of the world. 

xo

Portrait of a Lady, Or The Art Journal That Wasn't.

I started a new art journal, then promptly got bored of it. It had a concept. There were lists and plans and brainstorms and holyflowcharts. There was an end goal, somewhere. And then I dropped my basket, so maybe it will and maybe it won't get finished (I've learned that personal creative outlets are allowed to be just that, holding a certain whimsy when it comes to expectation). Maybe it'll take on a whole new life of its own. Perhaps I've worn out the idea of art journaling for now, and that's ok. Perhaps I'm just too invested in other things. Perhaps it will serve as a bit of kindling in a bonfire as the temperature kind of drops. Who knows? For now, it has served its purpose. And perhaps, it will do so again in the months to come. 

The future's wide open, and I've got nothing but time (and plenty of pages to fill). 

xo

Currently loving // Sevenly

I discovered Sevenly a month or two ago when they did a campaign for Invisible Children. Since then, I've been completely blown away by the work that they do, and the broad range of organizations/causes they have and continue to support! Above are some of my favorite designs from this week's campaign supporting TWLOHA. Find out more about Sevenly and this week's cause here.

And, you know. Maybe sign up for their weekly email while you're at it? Or czech em out on Facebook. You never know what organization they'll be supporting each week, and the designs are fantastic, not to mention their line of children's clothing and accessories! My heart is behind them in such an explosive way.  

People matter. Make a difference. Happy Tuesday lovelies! 

xo 

Pictured above: Women's Beauty boyfriend baseball tee / Men's Live Curiously crew / Women's Rose tank

them sick sad rainy georgetown blues.

Do you have that thing, the one that wraps tight around your heart, so worn out with love and no specific memory but smells and feels just like home when you hold it close? 

It started with an old paint-splattered Georgetown Bulldogs sweatshirt I discovered in my dad's closet when I was in junior high. Later, when I was living in Austin, I found this Georgetown U shirt at a thrift shop for ten cents. For a nascent Houston native just navigating her way in a world that had opened up so expansively before her, it suddenly felt like a very small place...I had to buy the shirt. It should be noted that no one in my family ever has or will go to Georgetown, but these pieces are a comfyday staple of mine for no apparent reason. The fact of them takes me to a place that feels like home. Not a building, not a collection of people related by blood, not a reminiscent series of events scattered on a timeline by association--but an idea of safety, of ease, of unrivaled solace.

Life can be funny like that, sometimes. 

The same way that my car was saved when the flood came because my best friend just happened to be in town and looked out his kitchen window in time to see my baby drowning. It only took 8 towels and an hour with the wetvac to remove the five inches of water that seeped into the car, but it still runs just fine, and that's all I can ask for. Maybe it's because I was wearing the Bulldogs sweatshirt in the downpour, completely fascinated by the slap and roar of cold, muddy water against my calves. 

Or maybe not. 

Either way, it's been a gray, weepy weekend. Lots of wringing hands and wringing out and ripped floorboards and fans to dry dry dry the tears the sky left behind. 

xo  

Dear October.

I could hold the phone to my ear and maybe you would listen. There’s always the pause, the silent surrender, before the conversation begins. An awkward greeting, maybe less awkward for the feigned resilience of the fact that you are there, and I am here, and you are, in fact, finally listening.  

I could tell you that July was for being with the band, and I will never love people any less. (I also have a mountain of picks if anyone needs a spare). 

I could tell you that August Is For Saying Goodbye, but luckily there were (and as I’m learning, usually always are) enough hellos to make it bearable, to the point of More Than Worthwhile. And all those sweaty mosquito nights spent talking out to the universe, swatting at legs and skin balmy with soupy Houston humidity where, for once, I was scared in the deepest way, feeling the wholeness of things.

And of course, September, September. Dates to remember, and everyone got a little wiser, or just a little older. It is also safe to say that the crowning jewel of the past three months was the Lord Huron + Alt-J show I attended at the Bayou Music Center with my brother and his girlfriend, which was about a week ago. Let me tell you something: you have not lived until you’ve danced with some friendly rogue Aussies to a soul-splitting, ear-gasming rendition of Fitzpleasure while wearing an oddly crafted but weirdly amazing sheer galactic print top with a deep-v back and flowing gypsy train situation.

To be fair, there was that stargazing night in Galveston, where the sand gritted in our teeth as we laughed into the wind, flying home to Broadripple and Contact on repeat like cosmic entities of infinity. Tallies for every plane that roared overhead, and a raw yawning awe for sunsets, snapping cameras, strength found in owning our stories, and respect in the ways we've allowed them to shape us. I vigilante bushwhacked through a suburban forest in sandals and forgot to take photos, but brought home chiggers and still have six small scars on my stomach as a souvenir (though, because they lasted so long, the consensus on whether or not they were ACTUALLY chigger bites was never confirmed). There’s also something to be said about eating salad from a giant plastic KFC cup, though I’m not exactly sure what it is, other than it happens, apparently. I ALSO don’t recommend owning a weak immune system that may lead to the next Tonsillectomy Scare of 2013 (which, thankfully, never leveled up to Jessica Goes Under The Knife: 2013 Version). 

There was, of course, a disposable camera involved somewhere in all of this, and way too many books read (though one can never read too many books, ever). Mostly I’ve stumbled upon fictional works exploring addiction and mother-daughter relationships, and mostly as they present themselves as co-occuring conditions. I couldn’t really tell you why, except that it’s hard to say no to a ten cent paperback at the resale shop with a semi-promising synopsis (as long as it’s not romance. When it comes to novels, I have the emotional maturity of an eight year old—someone give me a cootie shot). Maybe I’m using some of these works to better examine the relationships in my own life, though I don’t know how that even begins to compare, but anyway. (Ok, it probably compares. It’s probably really relevant. We’ll call it an accidental anthropological study).

Basically I ate a lot of words, watched some good movies, hung out with some beautiful people, communed with nature, learned so much about myself and others to the point of excruciating realness, and found my new favorite (LOCAL!) record store that’s been sitting under my nose this whole time (!!!)

Basically.

I’ve missed you guys.

October, you’re going to happen one way or the other. I’d prefer things to be easier, but if there is no struggle, there is no progress (according to a recent Sevenly campaign slogan—great mantra by the way), and progress is the thing, so beat the crap out of me. I’m (mostly) ready for it, because this won’t be the worst thing that happens. And that’s something I can bet my life on.  

I hope you dearhearts are enjoying the changing of seasons; our first coldfront dropped around midnight last night. After a bummy week of humid rain, skies are beautiful and clear, the wind is cool, but the sun is still beamin' down. That's the South for ya, and I wouldn't have it any other way. 

xo

Dear July.

You’re the smackdab middle of the slowrolling summer heatwave, the gradual build from June’s steady temperament to August’s fullbellyswell, where the sweat slides down your sides and neck in its sweet and salty way. July, mark seven in the year’s twelve step.  July, the colors of a nation celebrated.

June wrapped me up in soul connection, active practice in staying present, heightened political awareness, devouring the written word and finding my way back to those primitive, pen to paper writing roots. Two notebooks and disposable camera filled with things both personal and potentially blog-worthy, though that’s yet to be determined (hence the blog silence as of late). June, you’re a week in the rearview and I miss you already. But July holds a promise like savory apple pie scent wafting from an oven, counting down the seconds til latticed goodness is released.

I’ll take a slice, thanks.

xo

T + K Wedding

There is something about two people randomly finding each other in this vast expanse of land and sea, and committing to one another for as long as they live. Finding that person, or them finding you...I can imagine it's an incredible experience; something too rare and valuable for words. I got to witness a small part of that on Sunday at a dear friend's wedding. Unfortunately, stomach troubles kept me from the majority of the festivities, but I got a few instax photos. I wish nothing but the best for these two crazyadorable kids, and I'm so honored that I was able to lend a hand with some of the decorations (more on that later). Congratulations lovebirds! 

And I hope YOU lovelies had an amazing weekend. MUAH.

xo

Dear June.

I hope you look more like this. Lots of smiles and spontaneous laughter, family hangs, sister time, and so much love. A roadtrip perhaps, maybe even some facetime with the beach. You're gorgeous June. So many beautiful things to come.

xo

summer in suburbia

The days haven't been movin' so easy, but I'm slowly pushing through and taking steps in the right direction. Sometimes you just want that peace that comes at 6 o'clock, that suburban sunshine streamin' through the trees after a long work day; all the beauty wrapped up in ethereal rays of light. The warmth helps too; summer is my SEASON.

Lately life's been filled with paint on hands and glitter on floor and florals and  wood of wedding decor for a very dear friend (less than two weeks til the big day! Woo!) and I couldn't be happier to be part of the ceremonials. Keeping projects on the dl for now, but I can't wait to share them soon! 

xo 

Renegade Austin 2013

I meant to post this yesterday, but THIS WEEKEND is the Renegade Craft Fair in Austin! You can hang out with vendors ranging from local to international at the Palmer Events Center. WAY too much love and respect for these artisans who throw their souls into their work. So sad I didn't get to go this year, but if you're in the area be sure to czech it out! They'll be there tomorrow! 

I'm completely biased, but here are a few booths I HIGHLY recommend: 

>> iwasmade

>> Ladybird Likes 

>> Little Minnow

>> Poppy & Fern

>> Son of a Sailor

>> The Mossy Fox (LOVE this lady!)

You can see some of my past Renegade ventures here: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 

Happy weekending loves! 

xo

SO GROWN.

My brother graduated last Saturday, and tonight he's goin' to tha PROM. I can't even. This kid has grown up so quickly, it melts my heart. I'm just so proud of everything he's accomplished and so excited for the things ahead of him. He's one of my best friends, and now I know there's a reason I've been living here for the past two years... to laugh with him and watch him become a man. Like dang. 

Love ya bro! 

xo

Dear May.

You are the extension of a beginning, remedy for a false start. Had my ear so close to the ground for thunder I didn’t notice it was getting warmer, didn’t need these scarves and cardigans. Didn’t think I’d still be at such a stalemate, but The Call will determine and from there we will go.

The only joy I count for April is Record Store Day, and the vinyl parties and open mic nights and friend hangs streaming long, indulgent but meaningful conversation into the night. The hair changed style, changed color yet again, nails were painted that hadn’t been in previous years, superfluous passage of time. April, you ran up my phonebill in the worst kind of way, but it was a necessary evil . Bye.

May, don’t be so apologetic for things you’ve yet to do, things that aren’t your fault, things that sprawl out before me on some invisible calendar…all invisible until That Call. And if not that one, then another. And if not that one, then another and another and another until this is resolved. Hold me up in the sun so I can enjoy it as long as I can, some early inkling of summertime sadness.

As always, be sweet, and maybe a few less bruises. April jostled me around, took me for a turn. But you’re the beginning (like Editors say, even an end has a start), that place between extremes of excitement and some loathsome, dreadful fear. Uncertainty is bred from both, and I’ll sit with that til the answers come. Thanks for the people who chose to sit with me while I wait; for that I am eternally grateful. 

xo  

Record Store Day 2013

I don't think there are words to adequately describe the atmosphere of Record Store Day this year. I could say it was just me, but there was definitely something in the air; something electric. The way music brings people together just breaks my heart open...to see all the vinyl enthusiasts out and about, this communal spirit vibing winding its way out of the shop down the street and around the corner (like the line we stood in for two hours just to get to the special release table...so so worth it). Dear Cactus Music, I love you forever and ever amen. 

Once we got inside there was a DJ spinnin' some great tunes...I danced that whole last hour through the line.

THE ALBUM TO END ALL ALBUMS. Not really, it's only got two songs. But this RSD release was the goal of my day, heart of my heart...and I got the last one in the shop! Manchester Orchestra with Frightened Rabbit, Manchester Orchestra with Grouplove. I mean. I can't EVEN.

Other scores included...

...both Daughter EPs (new full length album out TODAY!!!)

...Blitzen Trapper's American Goldwing // Frightened Rabbit's Pedestrian Verse

...and a few 50cent scores! Arlo Guthrie // Joan Baez...myheartmyheartmyheart ! Overall, the day was so much fun. Nothin like mingling around a record store with friends and strangers who love and live and breathe music like you do. Success. 

It's been a sweet week and a half spinnin these new beauts! How did you celebrate Record Store Day? 

xo

Dear April.

We had a rough introduction. Hopefully there's no bad blood between us, but I can't be so sure. I'm waving goodbye to March with a full heart; so much love passed my way, I have no words. Learning invaluable lessons from unexpected sources, learning more about myself, learning the difference between enjoying the time spent and sticking around a little too long for things of no consequence. Either way, I'm eternally grateful for the experiences, because now they're part of The Story.

March was suffering and trying to find that ever elusive hope, but surrounding myself with people who hope with me and for me. People who shine that light when things be dimmer'n a candle burned down to the wick. My People. Looking forward to soaking up and giving back and loving each and every blessed one of Them. Because They're finally here, slowly trickling into my life when I need them most. 

So hey April, you're almostsummer. Let's get crazyyyy. 

PS RECORD STORE DAY = THIS MONTH! GET EXCITED!

(also getting my hands dirty again; I've forgotten what creating can do for a weary soul)

xo

The end of an era.

My friends from Handsome Ransom played their final show on Friday night at Scout Bar, and I don't really have words for the experience. It was beautiful to see those guys jam out (sans one member) one last time onstage, and also mildly surreal. That's really the gist. 

It was by chance that I met HR frontmanT-Miller in a geology class almost two years ago, and became an instant convert to their music after seeing them live for the first time at Warehouse not long after. I didn't take my camera to many of their shows, and didn't have a phone that took even mildly decent photos until January, so unfortunately most of the feelgoodrockouts have largely gone undocumented, save by the number of wristbands and countless memories I've stored up. 

The real closure came when they covered Broadripple is Burning by Margot & the Nuclear So & Sos one last time...that's been a long-running favorite of mine and the first night I heard them play it was probably the perfect memory I have of these guys. To put it into words would be an injustice to the experience, because nothing can ever describe the connection we have to music when it hits us just right, especially in the most unconventional, unexpected settings. 

Salt air, seawall, running heels in hand across two lanes of traffic, singing through the bar, a pool, a polka dot dress. That was one of the best nights of my life to date. 

So to the gentlemen(women) of Handsome Ransom, I say thanks for all of the music you shared with us, straight from the heart. Your energy and enthusiasm will truly be missed by this lady, and countless other fans. All my love to each and every one of you. 

xo

45. Go to the rodeo. Done(ish).

SO, here's the deal. I was all set at the beginning of rodeo season, when everyone's raging (it's long over, btw). Had my ticket to go see Styx, was going to meet up with a friendly of mine and it was just going to be amazing. UH-mazing. Styx is kind of my heart. And they were playing in my city, at the rodeo. Easy enough to cross off the birthday list, right?

Wrong. That Monday came and I was ridiculously sick. As in, have to leave work way early, miss a doctor appointment, and OH, ALSO, PS THE STYX SHOW THAT NIGHT because I'm curled up in bed while my stomach reenacts that scene from Alien, or something.

So I was going to the rodeo. I just didn't ACTUALLY make it there. And to be completely honest, Styx was really my only reason for going. Could not afford to drop more dollars after missing that event, but it ended up being ok because my broseph and I had some facetime realtalk that night, and I knew why I'd needed to be home and not at Reliant Stadium with thousands of screaming fans singing along to the Best of Times. Even if it meant dealing with my insides screaming at me. Or something. 

I'm still crossing it off the 48 before 24 list, because I had a damn ticket. I listened to the holographic Paradise Theater album on repeat from my bed all night, if that counts for anything. Done is done.  

xo

HI, MISS YOU, BRB.

YOU GUYZ. 

It's been a serious minute since I've plugged into the blogsphere, and I've felt the ache and pull back to this place all month like a hole in my heart. When the blog had its  first birthday, I scrolled back through the archives from the beginning to the place where the magic/madness began, and was so dang proud to see the progress, remembering so many long days and late nights planning and making content a priority. Seemingly simple posts sometimes took hours to assemble because I was so new, cared so much. I've unwittingly let that fervor slip away; sometimes I needed the break, sometimes the space was more effective than posting for the sake of logging time online. Sometimes I was just too too tired. 

More recently, I've been busy distracting myself with life. Living in it, meeting people, twirling from one appointment, event, coffeeshop, or curbside hang to the next. Plenty of driving, working on aspects of my health that need to be attended to, etc. So many beautiful beautiful faces along the way. From fleeting acquaintanceships that dissolved all too quickly to budding friendships now flourishing in ways I'd have never expected, I've loved every single minute; even the painful ones, those slow aching seconds that seem to last a lifetime. There's beauty to be found in those, too. 

My instagram feed is probably the most telling outlet cataloging my recent ventures, and that's silly. I miss the weight of a camera in my hands, miss planning ahead for posts and scheduling things, miss making things that I cant share on here, miss musing and writing for all of you lovelies willing to read. I haven't done enough of that lately and for every second that hasn't been jampacked with Life Things, I thought of this. I thought of you. I thought of this space I once so proudly called my own. 

RECLAIMING IT BEFORE IT GOES DEFUNCT, Y'ALL! 

And sharing stories I keep putting off, and the new hair situation I have going on (when do I not these days, haha...promise you won't keep seeing a bunch of photos showing off my hair each new post. I'm tired of them, so I can't imagine how you're feeling haha. DONE. But I really like the mini undercut. My babybird told me I look like Skrillex...she's 11. How does she even know who he is? I MEAN.)

Just wanted to say hi, miss you, brb. 

xo

Dear March

Hello! Bonjour! Hola! WHAT IS UP. February was wildnightrudefaceloveyouwhatjusthappenedatwafflehouse. Lots of movement and meeting new souls of brilliance and connection to longloved dearhearts. I endeavored to soak up every ache and pain, every hollow bonebroken moment of those 28 days. Voids were filled, emptied; scars grew a thicker, tougher skin and faded; new replaced old, old came back to haunt; everything spun in a freewheelin' rage of ecstasy and deaddrop rockbottom on the dancefloor. Smelled like bonfire regret, coffeehouse grind, staleness and purity, birthdays and Amazon Pequi body butter bound up in moments. Tallies, gains, losses losses losses and gains. February kept score, February out of control. So March, I'm glad you're here. I'm ready for warmer weather and forward motion and adventures a-plenty. Less lights going up, lights going down. More level-headed centers of focus, more awareness, more mindfulness, more rest.  

Ay pero febrero, you did have your good moments, this my favorite... 

In a blasted Subway parking lot of glory 

Home Depot luminescence and windblown boxes of cardboard I met an angel found

one of My People, one of the 

Mad Ones.

You live your life for moments like this. 

But welcome March, you're gonna be WEIRD! And hopefully more graceful. 

xo

PS dyed my hair again because dark roots in blonde hair equals zero bits attractive. My attempt at red turned into a fried deep burgundy fail, but oh well. Rollin with it. 

Partydownnn.

Don't these chocolate buttermilk cupcakes with earl grey buttercream & salted caramel look amazing?! Recipe here. You're welcome. 

Ladies and gentlemen, I can’t believe it’s already been a year since I claimed this little corner of the interwebs as my own! It’s been one heck of a learning experience, and the fun just don’t stop! I still don’t know what This is or where It’s going (does that make me a bad mom?) but it’s still as beautiful to me as the day it was birthed, some extremely long-awaited sideproject brought to fruition. I’m kind of proud. I’d like to thank the Academy, maybe high-five the universe…and especially all of you LOVELY READERS who actually take time out of your lives to read through my rambles and EVEN leave sweet comments sometimes. So humbled and flattered and pink in the face. You guys are the best! HUGS.

So that’s it, happy birthday babyblog! You’re notsosmall anymore, but still small enough that I can carry you around in my heart, and still be as experimental as I want to be, so long as I’m doing what I love.

Again, thanks for a great first year friends! Here’s to many more, and whatever comes next! Cheers! (Insert downing/choking on my Celebratory Drink in embarrassment at that pitiful toast, haha). I leave you with some of my favorite posts from the past twelve months.

First post ever!

Stitch Swappin

A pi, a poet, a party, and parents

Record Store Day Countdown Series 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 

Make It: Mini Sketchbook Tutorial

Dear Navy Blue

A question of needs, not rosary beads

Hey June

Photofest

Instaxlove+spilling the beans

Summer of Love / 2

Make It: Plastic Photo Inserts for Art Journals

Play That Song / 2

Visitor Center Spectacular

Getcho thrift on!

Sewing Circle

Blind Spots

Five Things I'd Tell My 15 Year Old Self

Ink 5/6

Tights&Stripes

Pumpkin Patch

Orgullosa

Renegade Roundup: Holiday Edition 1 / 2

We're so disposable 1 / 2

The Way We Were: A Year In Review

There are a lot

Give me to the ramblin' man

I hope everyone's having a spectacular weekend.

xo

I'm doing 48 things (some new, some old-new) before I turn 24 next year!

1. Go roller skating (too bad they won’t be playing bad 90s music anymore)

2. Visit the Houston Zoo

3. Submit one body of written work for contest/publication

4. Submit one piece of artwork for contest/exhibit

5. Go on a father/daughter date

6. Re-learn, for real this time, how to knit

7. Sew a dress for a Life Occasion

8. Photo day with my girl C-Cote

9. Learn Russian (ish)

10. Go to a DiverseWorks exhibit

11. Photograph my grandparents

12. Record my grandparents’ stories from Cuba

13. Archive my grandparents’ photos from Cuba

14. Volunteer at a shelter

15. Finish the ALIVE art journal

16. Find a home church

17. Mail encouraging notes to strangers

18. Write a review (any kind)

19. Interview a band

20. See a show at Dean’s Credit Clothing

21. Crochet a peter pan collar

22. Dissect Ginsberg’s HOWL…because I never actually finished doing that

23. Photograph my favorite part of the city

24. Take a yoga class do yoga once a week

25. Go to a jazz club !!!

26. Officially meet my ladybird in Cali

27. Go for a nature/inspiration walk

28. Record a track and/or sing at an open mic night with my brother

29. Finish The Chevron Throw of Fail haha…

30. Sketchbook Project 2014 (since I had an utter memory lapse in 2013)

31. Go salsa dancing !!!

32. Decorate my office

33. Experience The Eagles’ entire discography, in full, on the floor. Make art to it.

34. Repaint my room

35. Go on a mother/daughter massage date thing (my neck/shoulders feel like knotted granola all the damn time)

36. Sew a pillow cover

37. Go to a farmer’s market (Pearland or downtown)

38. See a play (at the Alley, at Stages, wherever)

39. Finish my short-story-in-progress

40. Go to an improv show

41. Start my Really Important Life Mantra Tattoo

42. Go to an Astros game since I haven’t been in years (and so I can experience the abuse firsthand. Dear AL, you suck)

43. Host a themed party of some kind

44. Take a book-binding class

45. MAYBE EVEN GO TO THE RODEO. I can’t really stand countryanything, but I am a Texan, after all…

46. Interview a local artisan

47. Read two more books by Rilke and Hesse
48. TBA !