Blind spots.

Yesterday I went in for an eye exam. My prescription expired in April and I was on my last pair of contacts… I have a pair of glasses, but they’re a few prescriptions old and despite continuous tightening have a tendency to fall off my face (to be fair, they’re men’s frames, but anyway). All things considered, it was about that time.

The exam itself was nothing spectacular. I’m no stranger to the optometrists’ chair, phoropter clicking in front of my face, “Which is better, this one? Or this one?” as I squint through layers of lenses to read a line on the eye chart.

When she asked me to take out my contacts, I thought nothing of it, as usual. I sat. Looked around. Answered questions. Really looked around. WOW. I really can’t see a single thing. Light and color and shadow blur together into a single, pulsing blob in front of my face. It’s not that my sight suddenly deteriorated over the course of a year and a half, but every time I’m asked in this office to take out my contacts, it hits me. I can’t see. I was born without the physical ability to visually define shapes, objects, people. Details. Visual discernment.

This got me thinking about the pervasive theme of blindness we experience in our own lives, in our culture. As individuals, we can get so blinded by fear, apprehension, anger, pain, disappointment…even positive things we get passionate about. When we’re so focused on our own issues or struggles that we can’t clearly see past them to the world around us, to the people who care most about us, we miss the details. I’m no exception. I live daily in a flurry of work, school, to do lists, being there for my family, spending time with The Boyfriend, connecting with friends in faraway places, working on my own personal goals. The weeks blur together. My lack of focus makes my hearing selective, and my interpretation of things more critical or just plain misconstrued. And I know I’m not the only one.

Maybe it’s time to take a step back from overworking and pretending to have it all together and being everything to everyone all the time. None of these things are achievable, practical, or even healthy. You do what you have to do to survive, I get that. Working hard isn’t a crime. But I wonder if sometimes we’re not so caught up in our own lives, so distracted by things we want/can’t have/don’t need, so blinded by our ambition, that we miss the big picture, and all the magnificent details along the way.

I’m working on shifting my perspective…corrective lenses can fix my biological blindness, but they can’t fix what I’ve missed over the years because of my own out of focus living. The only things that matters are moving forward, having open communication, making amends, and being present.

That’s what I’m aiming for. What’re some things you can do to better focus on what’s REALLY important to you?