Dear April.

We had a rough introduction. Hopefully there's no bad blood between us, but I can't be so sure. I'm waving goodbye to March with a full heart; so much love passed my way, I have no words. Learning invaluable lessons from unexpected sources, learning more about myself, learning the difference between enjoying the time spent and sticking around a little too long for things of no consequence. Either way, I'm eternally grateful for the experiences, because now they're part of The Story.

March was suffering and trying to find that ever elusive hope, but surrounding myself with people who hope with me and for me. People who shine that light when things be dimmer'n a candle burned down to the wick. My People. Looking forward to soaking up and giving back and loving each and every blessed one of Them. Because They're finally here, slowly trickling into my life when I need them most. 

So hey April, you're almostsummer. Let's get crazyyyy. 

PS RECORD STORE DAY = THIS MONTH! GET EXCITED!

(also getting my hands dirty again; I've forgotten what creating can do for a weary soul)

xo

The end of an era.

My friends from Handsome Ransom played their final show on Friday night at Scout Bar, and I don't really have words for the experience. It was beautiful to see those guys jam out (sans one member) one last time onstage, and also mildly surreal. That's really the gist. 

It was by chance that I met HR frontmanT-Miller in a geology class almost two years ago, and became an instant convert to their music after seeing them live for the first time at Warehouse not long after. I didn't take my camera to many of their shows, and didn't have a phone that took even mildly decent photos until January, so unfortunately most of the feelgoodrockouts have largely gone undocumented, save by the number of wristbands and countless memories I've stored up. 

The real closure came when they covered Broadripple is Burning by Margot & the Nuclear So & Sos one last time...that's been a long-running favorite of mine and the first night I heard them play it was probably the perfect memory I have of these guys. To put it into words would be an injustice to the experience, because nothing can ever describe the connection we have to music when it hits us just right, especially in the most unconventional, unexpected settings. 

Salt air, seawall, running heels in hand across two lanes of traffic, singing through the bar, a pool, a polka dot dress. That was one of the best nights of my life to date. 

So to the gentlemen(women) of Handsome Ransom, I say thanks for all of the music you shared with us, straight from the heart. Your energy and enthusiasm will truly be missed by this lady, and countless other fans. All my love to each and every one of you. 

xo

45. Go to the rodeo. Done(ish).

SO, here's the deal. I was all set at the beginning of rodeo season, when everyone's raging (it's long over, btw). Had my ticket to go see Styx, was going to meet up with a friendly of mine and it was just going to be amazing. UH-mazing. Styx is kind of my heart. And they were playing in my city, at the rodeo. Easy enough to cross off the birthday list, right?

Wrong. That Monday came and I was ridiculously sick. As in, have to leave work way early, miss a doctor appointment, and OH, ALSO, PS THE STYX SHOW THAT NIGHT because I'm curled up in bed while my stomach reenacts that scene from Alien, or something.

So I was going to the rodeo. I just didn't ACTUALLY make it there. And to be completely honest, Styx was really my only reason for going. Could not afford to drop more dollars after missing that event, but it ended up being ok because my broseph and I had some facetime realtalk that night, and I knew why I'd needed to be home and not at Reliant Stadium with thousands of screaming fans singing along to the Best of Times. Even if it meant dealing with my insides screaming at me. Or something. 

I'm still crossing it off the 48 before 24 list, because I had a damn ticket. I listened to the holographic Paradise Theater album on repeat from my bed all night, if that counts for anything. Done is done.  

xo

HI, MISS YOU, BRB.

YOU GUYZ. 

It's been a serious minute since I've plugged into the blogsphere, and I've felt the ache and pull back to this place all month like a hole in my heart. When the blog had its  first birthday, I scrolled back through the archives from the beginning to the place where the magic/madness began, and was so dang proud to see the progress, remembering so many long days and late nights planning and making content a priority. Seemingly simple posts sometimes took hours to assemble because I was so new, cared so much. I've unwittingly let that fervor slip away; sometimes I needed the break, sometimes the space was more effective than posting for the sake of logging time online. Sometimes I was just too too tired. 

More recently, I've been busy distracting myself with life. Living in it, meeting people, twirling from one appointment, event, coffeeshop, or curbside hang to the next. Plenty of driving, working on aspects of my health that need to be attended to, etc. So many beautiful beautiful faces along the way. From fleeting acquaintanceships that dissolved all too quickly to budding friendships now flourishing in ways I'd have never expected, I've loved every single minute; even the painful ones, those slow aching seconds that seem to last a lifetime. There's beauty to be found in those, too. 

My instagram feed is probably the most telling outlet cataloging my recent ventures, and that's silly. I miss the weight of a camera in my hands, miss planning ahead for posts and scheduling things, miss making things that I cant share on here, miss musing and writing for all of you lovelies willing to read. I haven't done enough of that lately and for every second that hasn't been jampacked with Life Things, I thought of this. I thought of you. I thought of this space I once so proudly called my own. 

RECLAIMING IT BEFORE IT GOES DEFUNCT, Y'ALL! 

And sharing stories I keep putting off, and the new hair situation I have going on (when do I not these days, haha...promise you won't keep seeing a bunch of photos showing off my hair each new post. I'm tired of them, so I can't imagine how you're feeling haha. DONE. But I really like the mini undercut. My babybird told me I look like Skrillex...she's 11. How does she even know who he is? I MEAN.)

Just wanted to say hi, miss you, brb. 

xo

Dear March

Hello! Bonjour! Hola! WHAT IS UP. February was wildnightrudefaceloveyouwhatjusthappenedatwafflehouse. Lots of movement and meeting new souls of brilliance and connection to longloved dearhearts. I endeavored to soak up every ache and pain, every hollow bonebroken moment of those 28 days. Voids were filled, emptied; scars grew a thicker, tougher skin and faded; new replaced old, old came back to haunt; everything spun in a freewheelin' rage of ecstasy and deaddrop rockbottom on the dancefloor. Smelled like bonfire regret, coffeehouse grind, staleness and purity, birthdays and Amazon Pequi body butter bound up in moments. Tallies, gains, losses losses losses and gains. February kept score, February out of control. So March, I'm glad you're here. I'm ready for warmer weather and forward motion and adventures a-plenty. Less lights going up, lights going down. More level-headed centers of focus, more awareness, more mindfulness, more rest.  

Ay pero febrero, you did have your good moments, this my favorite... 

In a blasted Subway parking lot of glory 

Home Depot luminescence and windblown boxes of cardboard I met an angel found

one of My People, one of the 

Mad Ones.

You live your life for moments like this. 

But welcome March, you're gonna be WEIRD! And hopefully more graceful. 

xo

PS dyed my hair again because dark roots in blonde hair equals zero bits attractive. My attempt at red turned into a fried deep burgundy fail, but oh well. Rollin with it. 

Partydownnn.

Don't these chocolate buttermilk cupcakes with earl grey buttercream & salted caramel look amazing?! Recipe here. You're welcome. 

Ladies and gentlemen, I can’t believe it’s already been a year since I claimed this little corner of the interwebs as my own! It’s been one heck of a learning experience, and the fun just don’t stop! I still don’t know what This is or where It’s going (does that make me a bad mom?) but it’s still as beautiful to me as the day it was birthed, some extremely long-awaited sideproject brought to fruition. I’m kind of proud. I’d like to thank the Academy, maybe high-five the universe…and especially all of you LOVELY READERS who actually take time out of your lives to read through my rambles and EVEN leave sweet comments sometimes. So humbled and flattered and pink in the face. You guys are the best! HUGS.

So that’s it, happy birthday babyblog! You’re notsosmall anymore, but still small enough that I can carry you around in my heart, and still be as experimental as I want to be, so long as I’m doing what I love.

Again, thanks for a great first year friends! Here’s to many more, and whatever comes next! Cheers! (Insert downing/choking on my Celebratory Drink in embarrassment at that pitiful toast, haha). I leave you with some of my favorite posts from the past twelve months.

First post ever!

Stitch Swappin

A pi, a poet, a party, and parents

Record Store Day Countdown Series 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 

Make It: Mini Sketchbook Tutorial

Dear Navy Blue

A question of needs, not rosary beads

Hey June

Photofest

Instaxlove+spilling the beans

Summer of Love / 2

Make It: Plastic Photo Inserts for Art Journals

Play That Song / 2

Visitor Center Spectacular

Getcho thrift on!

Sewing Circle

Blind Spots

Five Things I'd Tell My 15 Year Old Self

Ink 5/6

Tights&Stripes

Pumpkin Patch

Orgullosa

Renegade Roundup: Holiday Edition 1 / 2

We're so disposable 1 / 2

The Way We Were: A Year In Review

There are a lot

Give me to the ramblin' man

I hope everyone's having a spectacular weekend.

xo

I'm doing 48 things (some new, some old-new) before I turn 24 next year!

1. Go roller skating (too bad they won’t be playing bad 90s music anymore)

2. Visit the Houston Zoo

3. Submit one body of written work for contest/publication

4. Submit one piece of artwork for contest/exhibit

5. Go on a father/daughter date

6. Re-learn, for real this time, how to knit

7. Sew a dress for a Life Occasion

8. Photo day with my girl C-Cote

9. Learn Russian (ish)

10. Go to a DiverseWorks exhibit

11. Photograph my grandparents

12. Record my grandparents’ stories from Cuba

13. Archive my grandparents’ photos from Cuba

14. Volunteer at a shelter

15. Finish the ALIVE art journal

16. Find a home church

17. Mail encouraging notes to strangers

18. Write a review (any kind)

19. Interview a band

20. See a show at Dean’s Credit Clothing

21. Crochet a peter pan collar

22. Dissect Ginsberg’s HOWL…because I never actually finished doing that

23. Photograph my favorite part of the city

24. Take a yoga class do yoga once a week

25. Go to a jazz club !!!

26. Officially meet my ladybird in Cali

27. Go for a nature/inspiration walk

28. Record a track and/or sing at an open mic night with my brother

29. Finish The Chevron Throw of Fail haha…

30. Sketchbook Project 2014 (since I had an utter memory lapse in 2013)

31. Go salsa dancing !!!

32. Decorate my office

33. Experience The Eagles’ entire discography, in full, on the floor. Make art to it.

34. Repaint my room

35. Go on a mother/daughter massage date thing (my neck/shoulders feel like knotted granola all the damn time)

36. Sew a pillow cover

37. Go to a farmer’s market (Pearland or downtown)

38. See a play (at the Alley, at Stages, wherever)

39. Finish my short-story-in-progress

40. Go to an improv show

41. Start my Really Important Life Mantra Tattoo

42. Go to an Astros game since I haven’t been in years (and so I can experience the abuse firsthand. Dear AL, you suck)

43. Host a themed party of some kind

44. Take a book-binding class

45. MAYBE EVEN GO TO THE RODEO. I can’t really stand countryanything, but I am a Texan, after all…

46. Interview a local artisan

47. Read two more books by Rilke and Hesse
48. TBA !