Give me to the ramblin' man

To be fair, the last photo was taken on my phone. Just bein' real guys. 

I've been toting this disposable camera since the last day of 2012, so bits of trips and miscellany abound. I finally finished it/got it developed on Sunday, so here are a few shots of the past month. And what a month it has been! Brenham, Austin, San Marcos, Galveston, College Station, Bryan...my beautiful soulful wandering weekends. 

xo

There are a lot

of things I haven’t prioritized, that only now are becoming severe, that I’m only now beginning to face with a serious attitude. I can’t ignore them anymore. And why I should I have in the first place? These things could only have brought me closer to a healthier, more whole and beautiful life. So why did I run?

Because I was (and still am) afraid.

Because I was disillusioned, distracted, wanted so desperately to live “normally”. (What does normal even MEAN anyway?! I could give you my version, but that’s just specific to my situation)

Because I like to deny, like most of us do, that anything is wrong. Pretend until I can’t pretend any longer, until the body speaks for itself, and I have nowhere to hide.

I woke up yesterday and none of this was ok.

I went to bed last night and ALL of it was ok. I won’t always be willing, I won’t always be motivated to do what needs to be done, I won’t always be this glowing orb of positive energy. It’ll be painful. I’ll have my Job moments, probably curse my existence a lot, among other things…but that’s only temporary. It’s all temporary.

I got so tired of hearing that from others, but now I’m turning it on myself.

Because it’s true, and it’s real, and it has to happen.

Healing is a foreign word, concept. It’s not affiliated with anything I’ve really experienced. I was once very close, almost enough to taste it…and I let it slip through my fingers, completely taken for granted.

I’m ready to suffer, and ready to hope… 

(sorrynotsorry for continuing to reference this Florence song- it’s just really really appropriate and powerful)

xo

on the run

Friday morning I was making the day’s to-do list at my desk; work was slow and I decided to look ahead to the weekend. One of my usual Friday to-dos is “make weekend to-do list” haha (list within a list- LISTCEPTION!!! as my brother would say). Whether or not I stick to it, I like to be organized. It’s safe to say my weekend did not at ALL go as planned. Yes, I got a lot of things accomplished...but mostly just added some serious mileage to my car. Friday night found me scrambling for a foothold, so after sleeping in, cleaning, and making a few phonecalls on Saturday, I was on the road to see some dear friends in Austin. And going to a show that night in San Marcos. And when I’m panicked and my heart hurts, I flee to both of those places. That’s where I’m found.

On my way home Sunday I made a quick stop back in town for my grandma’s birthday lunch, then headed straight to the water. Galveston, in all its polluted glory, is a haven. Seeking solace among the waves to clear my mind and empty me fully; communing with nature in the dying light of the setting sun…there’s nothing like it.

Also, I’ve further confused myself by joining instagram, so these are a few of my photos from the road, kind of...I was scrambling to Atx so most of those are on a disposable...typical (I’m so bad at technology. Like Downton’s Mr. Carson, I have trouble with newfangled contraptions and change, haha). Brace yourself, the world’s newest instaidiot @jsimcity is on the loose! 

Songs from the road, repeat repeat repeat...

 featherface at triple crown // san marcos

xo

Liebster Award

Ladies and gents, beautiful news! I was lucky enough to be nominated for the Liebster award by the lovely Melissa of Cloudy Chase, and I can't even tell you how honored I am right now. AHHHH. Drop everything and send her some love; this girl's got a beautiful blog with lots of great insight, list/wish makin', fashion sense (I'm talking to you, little blue dress!), and rockin' music taste to share! 

The Rundown: the award basically serves to bring some shine to bloggers with less than 200 followers, and nominees nominate 11 more bloggers in turn! Nominees nominate...that's Golden Globe speak for I hope I never have to present anything on television, ever. Bah. 

The Rules: 

1. List 11 facts about yourself

2. Answer the 11 questions the blogger who nominated you left

3. Ask 11 questions for those you nominate

4. Choose 11 bloggers with less than 200 followers to nominate

5. Go to each blogger's page and let them know about the award

6. Thank the person who nominated you and link back to their blog

Hmmkay, the Factoids: 

• I devour books. And when I say devour I mean books for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. 
• I don't remember the last time I wore pants (BECAUSE DRESSES ARE AMAZING)
• Spotify is ruining my life in the best way possible; discovering new music is my HEART
• I'm obsessed with office supplies, especially binder clips and white out tape
• I get carded everywhere for ten hours because I look like I'm 12 (something Melissa and I have in common! HEY GIRL we'll age so well, I don't even care!)
• Thrift stores are my second home
• I've been using the same Pilot G-2s since highschool; I just buy ink refills when they run out
• I'm half Cuban, and have a crazy birthmark on my left cheek that looks like a massive bruise (the two are related, I won't go into details)
• Making ish for people is kind of my passion, be it food or craftastic whathaveyou. Just FYI.
• If you like Woody Allen films I will straight up tell you we are best friends for life  
• I'm extremely directionally challenged (thank you GPS and phone that is now officially smarter than me)

The Answers: 

1. Where did you grow up? I call the burbs of Pasa-getdown-dena, TX home, y'all. (I'm not even that country, come on guys).

2. What is your favorite dessert? Dark chocolate anything, even though my stomach has forced me into brief hiatus from my dearly beloved. 

3. What is your greatest fear? That I'm not appreciating every breath, every moment I'm given on God's green earth. And the fear of losing time is the biggest inhibitor to living fully, right? OH THE IRONY haha. 

4. Who was your childhood crush? Donny Osmond. David Cassidy. Davy Jones. Peter Noone. Han Solo. Luke Skywalker. My soul is way older than my body, apparently.  

5. What is your favorite book? DAMN THIS QUESTION. Kidding. On the Road - Jack Kerouac / Junky - William S. Burroughs / Mere Christianity - C.S. Lewis / Rant - Chuck Palahniuk / Autobiography of Red - Anne Carson / Demian - Hermann Hesse / The Creative Habit - Twyla Tharp / How to Read Literature Like a Professor - Thomas Foster / No Country For Old Men - Cormac McCarthy / Letters to a Young Poet - Rainer Maria Rilke / everything by David Sedaris, and all the Nancy Drew novels (that was more than one, sorrynotsorry. See factoid numero uno)

6. Where is your favorite place on this earth? I haven't seen enough of the earth to make a serious judgement call, but my heart lives in a few places. Shashamane, Ethiopia. San Marcos, TX. Sometimes Austin. Also, the beach.

7. What is your best creative ability? Um, can I get back to you in 20 years? I'm still trying to sort that out. Jack of all trades, master of none for now. I do a lot of writing, painting, sewing, art journaling...? I'll just stick with being crafty. I'm good at creating with the tools around me, even if they're a far cry from the ones "necessary" for the job. 

8. Who is your inspiration? Yikes. This is that moment at the Academy Awards when someone's got a paper full of names they're trying to speed read before they get kicked off the stage by the orchestra. I'd say people who make something of themselves, do it honorably and respectably; people who push boundaries and bend the rules and fight for truth and justice. People who create lives for themselves out of an adolescent dream. The movers and shakers. The great Doers of this world. 

9. What makes you the most happy? Spending time with dearhearts; I love those people to the moon and back. Also, creating. 

10. Birds, bows, polka dots, or stripes? (could be anything) Stripes. Polka dots. Polka dots on polka dots. I'm relating this question to wardrobe and washi tape. 

11. What is your favorite quote? This is as difficult as the book question. I underline about 85% of each one I read that constitutes a good life quote or something. Oh dear: 

• Real is not perfect. 
• Alone is a fact, a condition where no one else is around. Lonely is how you feel about that...Solitude is an unavoidable part of creativity. Self-reliance is a happy byproduct. -Twyla Tharp
• And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom. - Anais Nin
• Pretend you’re someone who can do it…and just behave like they would! -Neil Gaiman
• If you keep on doing what you've always done, you'll keep on being what you've always been. -this is from a movie trailer starring Samuel L. Jackson ...?
• This really long quote by Ira Glass that is currently hanging in my office
• ...am I allowed to cite Ginsberg's Howl in its entirety as a quote? Can I do that? 

You guys I'm so bad at answering questions. Novelization is inevitable. I can't seem to shut my trap! And now, for all you beautiful nominees: 

Your Questions: 

1. Who is your favorite historical figure? 

2. Are you a neat freak or do your belongings kind of live wherever they land? (you can be both or neither, promise...but please, do expand on that!)

3. Describe your perfect day. That's kind of a question?

4. What is your writing utensil of choice? If it's a pen, what color ink?

5. What is your best summer memory?

6. What problem did you solve today? 

7. When was the last time you were on an airplane?

8. Who is your favorite author/director/artist? 

9. What is your favorite past time? 

10. What topic are you bored talking about?

11. What was your hands down best concert experience, EVER?!

And the nominees are...

christine cote

Atypical Taylor
Kelly Zarb Style
Lark & Lace
little llama
Shauchunas Times
(I've been terrible at networking lately so I don't know of 11 lovelies with less than 200 followers)

Thank you so much again Melissa! You're so sweet! I hope all of you lovely readers will also extend some love to the nominees, because they're amazing. Happy MLKDAY!

xo

ALIVE / 3

section I : freedom

 and other synonyms

using the lyrics to Shake It Out by Florence throughout the book / 1

floral dress I wore on a night that marked the beginning of The Journey

Florence  / 2

just for a moment

Florence / 3

xo

You can

never have enough washi tape! This little package truly brightened my day; a sweet note of encouragement and a reminder that I am loved is exactly what I needed, today of all days. Thank you Carabear! I'm forever thankful to know this beautiful woman. 

xo

Someone still loves you Richard Nixon

My friends know me too well. Also, let's talk about how I entertained the title of this post as the title of this BLOG for about three months. Seriously.

Dear Mr. Nixon:

Oh, pardon (no pun intended)…Mr. President? Must we maintain political formality despite your, shall we say, shrewdly timed resignation? Do doctors uphold their titles post-practice? Can I just call you Richard? Rick? Is that cool man?

PS HAPPY BELATED 100^th BIRTHDAY!

Before we get to the meat of it, let’s talk some sun. Desegregation of schools?  Hardly an easy undertaking. High five. Endorsement of the ERA? Sweet deal, even if you were a little late on the bandwagon. (To your credit, you appointed more ladies the administration than our boy LBJ, so, like, madprops or something). You tried to sort out the whole Vietnam debacle, and that had to be more than five kinds of crazy. You did some good in office, ok? Pat on the back. I could go on, lauding your mild achievements and even successes, but that would take more than eighteen and a half minutes and you and I both know we don’t have that kind of time (Rosemary did though? Whatababe). And anyway, that’s not why you’re my favorite president.

Look, I’m not here to bash you. Everyone knows 1972-74 were some of the, erm, trickiest years of your presidential career, save the reelection. That must’ve been quite a thrill. OH but that wasn’t enough. No no. Had to push that envelope. Aaaaand…WATERGATE. I MEAN. I can’t even. A burglary?! A freaking burglary and those meddling Washington Post people and their pornographically nicknamed informant that turned things upside down. Next thing you know there are names and lists and tapes and slush funds…silly goose! That’s exactly what you are.

I won’t bore you with the details as I’m sure you’re more than well acquainted with every single thing, considering you were at the center, scandal plaguing you far beyond your years in office. Probably the rest of your life. Hey, don’t look at me, I wasn’t there. Not even BORN. I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday. Thanks for the good times, and also the infamy of your presidency that will forever run through the veins of America’s political history. Thanks for building some serious trust with the citizens of this country, and then completely destroying it. And lying boldface. You’re a great and terrible man, Dick. You’re a TOTAL crook (don’t let anyone tell you otherwise), a ballsy guy, and have a really awkward/sultry voice (because I definitely don’t listen to your 1969 inaugural address on vinyl every so often, or ever). You crack me up in the best way possible, because who knew a Yorba Linda native would rock a nation with such blatant scandal?

Way to wife that Patty though. I almost changed my name once.

Oh, and Checkers was pretty cute.

Again, happy belated from your most sincere heckler admirer

  

xo 

PS Jimmy Page shares your birthday, except he’s definitely 31 years younger. It’s kind of overwhelming to be alive on January 9^th because hello Zeppelin vs . Nixon. WHAT DO I EVEN DO WITH MYSELF?! …I obviously survived though, and have for the past 22 years…I’ll probably just keep doing that. In the meantime, chin up. Or, you know. Don’t turn too much in your grave. No one even talks about it anymore except in American history.

PS again you think the so-called ‘smoking gun’ tape was a big deal? Please. Scandals erupt every day now thanks to these newfangled devices called cellular phones with photo/video taking capabilities, and people post them to the twitters and Youtubes, and get caught. At least you could pretend to be innocent for two years, you smooth criminal. 

10 Good Things

Soooooo yesterday was definitely Richard Nixon's 100th birthday. Long ramble short, there was a post scheduled, and it got deleted, and I rewrote it today...and left it on my flashdrive at work...FAIL. So expect a silly post about my undying love for the Nixon administration not really sometime tomorrow. 

In other news, I'm totally stealing Martha Stewart's tagline because HELLO good things? Everyone loves good things. And ten's a good, solid number, and it's never a bad time to give thanks. 

10 Good Things in 2013 (so far)

1. Celebrating my sister's birthday before she had to fly back to school
2. Meeting new friends in unexpected places
3. Reconnecting with people I've missed
4. Surprise phone upgrade...PS smart phones make me feel like an idiot
5. A day of sunshine after a string of cold/gloomy/rainy days
6. Bad stomach days, because they make the good ones that much more awesome
7. Photos to remember the things my brain tends to forget 
8. Strong people that prove to me every day that things are never as bad as they seem
9. Growing pains, because they create opportunity for learning 
10. This song


xo

Sweet mail surprise

Out of state love from my beautiful ladies! I feel so incredibly loved. Can't wait to use my new tea ball to try some of these amaaazing looseleafs and write all over the Rifle Paper Co. notebook! I've wanted one for so long. HEARTSMILEOFMYLIFE when I unwrapped it (: PS I almost ate the eos lip balm...so delicious. That's totally normal, right? 

I hope everyone's had a good week! I've been cleaning and catching up on a few things, making lists, brainstorming, meeting new people, and adventuretiming. This year should be interesting. 

xo

Dear January

I don't know you, or what you mean, or what you want from me. I don't know a lot of things, and probably never will, but that's ok. I think. Down towards the healing, right? 

And if you want to see something hilarious, direct yourself (because it's mildly inappropriate so I'm not linking) to a video on Youtube called A New Year, A New Me. I crack up every time. 

Happy new year everyone! 

xo