Pumpkin patch.

Pumpkin picking and carving this weekend with The Bird and The Boyfriend. I haven't done this since my freshman year of highschool! For shaaaaaame. Baby bird had never carved a pumpkin so we had fun making fall memories and establishing new traditions (: 

Five Things That Scare The Heck Outta Me

1. Horror movies. Obvious, right? The closest I've ever gotten to "scary" movies are The Shining and Silence of the Lambs...neither of which truly fall under that genre. Both are AMAZING movies, but watching them back to back alone in my apartment probably wasn't the brightest idea given my history. The trailer for Paranormal Activity 2 freaked me out in the theater, so I guess that tells you everything you need to know. 

2. The thought of being a parent. Given my current situation, it's not in the cards. I don't know where I'll be in five, ten, however many years, but I refuse to bring a child into this world and be responsible for raising it. Not that I'd be a bad mother, because I'm second mom to my sibs and they love me, haha. I'm all about family. But with all of my health issues and conditions prevalent in my family...it would irresponsible and absolutely kill me to raise a kid in that environment. I'm not anti-baby and I love the thought of adoption, but it will take a LOT of change and healing in this lady's life for that to happen. Sad day.

3. The thought of my family dying. It makes me sick. I've woken up screaming/in tears since I was a little kid from nightmares constituting this particular scenario. It's an honest-to-blog fear. But you can't go through life worrying about that. I just spend my days trying to be as present and engaged with them as I can be, and love on them as often as possible. That's all you can do, right? (:

4. Parasites. Namely internal/digestive ones. I mean, it happens. I've never had one, but there was that film in 9th grade biology that kind of ruined my life. So they freak me out.  Got a roach? Spider? Strange bug to swat? I'm your girl! No fear there. But these lil buggers, gah! When I was in Ethiopia I was surprisingly not as worried about it as I thought I would be...at least not by the third day of being there, haha. It's a gross thought, but at least you can get rid of em, right? 

5. Stomach flu/throwing up. Again, they happen. Part of life. Germs just come with the territory of living with younger siblings and a teacher mom, and working with people whose kids are in elementary school. I'm an admitted hypochondriac and emetophobic in this regard, though. I lived with my grandparents for three weeks when one of my sisters brought home a stomach bug that circulated around my house right before a big trip I had planned. That's just how I am. I deal with stomach troubles that're out of my control on a daily basis...a stomach flu is the last thing I need. I mean if I get sick, I get sick. But if I can potentially avoid it, I'll go to great lengths to do just that. How crazy do I sound right now? 

So, yeah. True story. Fear. It's a thing. What're some things that scare you silly? 

This time last year

Life was beautiful. Spending precious time with dearhearts out in Corpus and biking on the beach in Port Aransas. Not dressing up for Halloween and not caring because we were playing darts and hanging out in hammocks and sippin' celery sodas (what?!) and soaking up the sun and the autumn chill. And busting my foot open because I rode barefoot, whatev. This time last year I was hanging out with one of my best friends and our boyfriends. Two of the coolest, sweetest people you will ever meet. 

Miss it. PS my hair?! 

Defend, against the flux, the sameness of faces.

Photo

"Always, I grab it, the writing, hold it to me, defend, defend, against the flux, the sameness of faces". 

Yesterday was Sylvia Plath's birthday. That I could have walked with her, talked with her, or known her in the slightest would've been the greatest joy. Countless women have read her work and identified, myself included. Whether it's because she describes the meat of female humanity and madness to such a realistic extent, or because we're relieved to find we're not the only ones suffering or rejoicing in such ways (which is true; we're not the first and won't be the last)...whatever the reason, her words have a deep place in my heart. Happy belated my dear. 

"If I sit still and don't do anything, the world goes on beating like a slack drum, without meaning. We must be moving, working, making dreams to run toward; the poverty of life without dreams is too horrible to imagine: it is the kind of madness which is worst: the kind with fancies and hallucinations would be a Bosch-ish relief".

-The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

Bits & Pieces

1. I got turned on to A Peace Treaty via Designlovefest, and man oh MAN. Aren't these scarves incredible? The shop is a collaboration between Farah Malik and Dana Arbib, two women putting aside their personal religious differences to create an amazing handwoven collection by "employing artisans with above fair trade wages and...creating income generation opportunities for out-of-work artisans, disabled and widowed women". What is not to love about that?! This girl is SOLD. 

2. Weakness for knitted bows...if I don't make one soon I might cave and buy this beauty from Lumistyle. Perfect for a messy bun kinda day! 

3. I'm a huge supporter/sporter of legwarmers when the cold weather sets in, and these Adknit boot cuffs are perfect for wearing with taller boots so you don't have to cram said legwarmers into your fancy kicks! Bonus: they come in tons of colors to match your style. 

4. Going crazy over these adorable prints. I'm not usually not one to scope one out to decorate my space, but these cuties by of life and lemons are soooo tempting! 

5. Pretty great read about being friends with people radically different than you, and why everyone should do it. 

6. I fall in to this trap more often than I should. 

7. This amazing letter from Charles Bukowski to the publisher that pushed him out of the work force and in front of a typewriter just gets me. It was recommended to me by a dear friend and will definitely give you something to think about. Might have to print this out and hang it on my wall. Just sayin'. 

Hope you've had an amazing Thursday friends! My day had a rough start but things improved significantly after work (surprise, surprise, haha), and I'm happy as a clam. 

Five Tattoo Ideas I Love But Would Never Get On My Body

I love tattoos. A lot. I really do. I want a million. But not really, because I don't want to be covered in them. They're cute here and there, strategically placed, but full body is a little overboard. Not hatin', just sayin. Here are a few that I absolutely ADORE but would never get permanently etched onto my skin, either because they just don't hold personal meaning for me or I don't want to copy someone else. If you happen to have one of these, my purpose isn't to offend, but merely explain why I personally won't be getting one. I'm sure you have a really awesome reason for getting it, and it looks way cooler on you anyway! 

1. A bird/birdcage. Yes, they're beautiful. Yes, sparrows and robins and swallows and mockingbirds are gorgeous. In color, in black, or as silhouettes. They're incredible creatures and carry loads of symbolism for different people. Freedom, for instance. The reminder that they (you) can soar above their (your) circumstances no matter what. Or maybe you're an aviphile and can't get enough of the winged creatures! Totally cool man; not for me. 

2. A ship. They're really cool to look at when they're really well done. I mean really. If you have one, I probably automatically expect you to have a beard and be an amazing musician. Like, say, Andy Hull. This is totally Right Away, Great Captain for me. Again, so awesome when the artist kills it, but I don't need a ship on my body. Where am I sailing to? Where the heck am I going? Where have I been? I don't know and you probably don't want to know either.

3. Something cuteish. Let me be specific: a bow, a heart, a ribbon, a cupcake, a unicorn, a Hawaiian flower, a dolphin, a butterfly, etc. YES lots of people pull them off really well. Sometimes ya just need some sweetheart art on your bod; I can roll with that. It's just not my style. I would probably get a cupcake tattooed somewhere if I could actually eat them! Haha. Ok not really. But they're fun to look at nonetheless. 

4. A Sylvia Plath quote. Rather, The Ultimate Sylvia Plath Quote: "I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart; I am, I am, I am" (or it's various versions, usually shortened). This was actually something I entertained for quite awhile because all of the other quotes I loved from either The Bell Jar or her unabridged Journals were way too long to get inked. But then I was like...I am? Yes I am. And yes I am not going to get that on my body because there are more powerful words, for me personally, that I'd like to have done. Either way, I'm an infinite lover of Plath til the end. I am, I am, I am. 

5. Someone's name/face. Again, this was something I once entertained and still kind of do as a joke in the back of my mind. I wanted 'Marc Jacobs' in the brand font on my wrist or on the back of my neck. Or just the initials. But then it was like MJ? Michael Jackson? Mary Jane? What? He's still my favorite crazy designer and it might still happen, but that's kind of silly when you consider that I wouldn't even get my husband's name tattooed on myself, should I ever get married. I just won't. Or anyone else's name, I don't think. 

And as far as faces...I REALLY wanted Richard Nixon's face on my calf. For a long time.  True story. But guys, he wasn't exactly JFK. Just because he's my favorite prez doesn't mean I have to scare people. I can appreciate really great portrait tattoos though. Madrespect for the REALLY good ones because portraits are just so easy to botch. But if ever I choose to get one, I'll head straight to Classic Tattoo in San Marcos, TX. I'd trust any of those artists with inking someone else's face on my person. Seriously. Their work is AMAZING. 

What're some tattoos you love on other people but probably wouldn't get for yourself?

The 100 Week

A few snaps from The 100 Project's disposable camera week...turned month in my case, haha. October 1-7 just happened to be a really rough week, and extremely routine. Not something I wanted to capture on film. And I'd rather tote a disposable for a few weeks anyway! I absolutely love the analog look.  

xo

Fall art journal / 1

I've been meaning to post these for awhile now...I actually have a few other pages done that I haven't photographed yet so they'll make their way here soon enough. I decided to deviate from any journaling method I've ever used  (composition notebook, small separate bound pages, vintage books) that also happens to clear out some resources on hand. In this case, my random collection of W magazines from 2009-2011? I have about eight of them. One night I was in the fall journal mood and decided to just start ripping pages. In hindsight, it might've been easier to use the actual magazine as the base and tape pages into that, BUT I'm really enjoying the free page form that I'm working on right now. How I'm going to bind the pages is another story...I'm thinking I'll sew a paper margin on either the left edge or even the top of the page and use binder rings depending on how many pages I create...but I'll cross that bridge when I get there! For now, massive pages with plenty of space for writing, drawing, and collaging. Perfect. 

journal intro / favorite "fall" colors

Because polka dots/plaid are colors to me. They just ARE. Also, 'oxblood' is the new burgundy, guys. The fashion world is just...haha. I can't even. 

brother's talent show...wanted a really zine feel / thinking out loud, like I do

 Lalalaaaaaaa...are any of you working an art journal of any kind?