October 31, 2012

Five Things That Scare The Heck Outta Me

1. Horror movies. Obvious, right? The closest I've ever gotten to "scary" movies are The Shining and Silence of the Lambs...neither of which truly fall under that genre. Both are AMAZING movies, but watching them back to back alone in my apartment probably wasn't the brightest idea given my history. The trailer for Paranormal Activity 2 freaked me out in the theater, so I guess that tells you everything you need to know. 

2. The thought of being a parent. Given my current situation, it's not in the cards. I don't know where I'll be in five, ten, however many years, but I refuse to bring a child into this world and be responsible for raising it. Not that I'd be a bad mother, because I'm second mom to my sibs and they love me, haha. I'm all about family. But with all of my health issues and conditions prevalent in my family...it would irresponsible and absolutely kill me to raise a kid in that environment. I'm not anti-baby and I love the thought of adoption, but it will take a LOT of change and healing in this lady's life for that to happen. Sad day.

3. The thought of my family dying. It makes me sick. I've woken up screaming/in tears since I was a little kid from nightmares constituting this particular scenario. It's an honest-to-blog fear. But you can't go through life worrying about that. I just spend my days trying to be as present and engaged with them as I can be, and love on them as often as possible. That's all you can do, right? (:

4. Parasites. Namely internal/digestive ones. I mean, it happens. I've never had one, but there was that film in 9th grade biology that kind of ruined my life. So they freak me out.  Got a roach? Spider? Strange bug to swat? I'm your girl! No fear there. But these lil buggers, gah! When I was in Ethiopia I was surprisingly not as worried about it as I thought I would be...at least not by the third day of being there, haha. It's a gross thought, but at least you can get rid of em, right? 

5. Stomach flu/throwing up. Again, they happen. Part of life. Germs just come with the territory of living with younger siblings and a teacher mom, and working with people whose kids are in elementary school. I'm an admitted hypochondriac and emetophobic in this regard, though. I lived with my grandparents for three weeks when one of my sisters brought home a stomach bug that circulated around my house right before a big trip I had planned. That's just how I am. I deal with stomach troubles that're out of my control on a daily basis...a stomach flu is the last thing I need. I mean if I get sick, I get sick. But if I can potentially avoid it, I'll go to great lengths to do just that. How crazy do I sound right now? 

So, yeah. True story. Fear. It's a thing. What're some things that scare you silly? 

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You're so sweet (: Thanks friend!


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