100 Years.

Though it technically falls on Nov. 19th, we celebrated my great-grandmother's 100th birthday yesterday with a full-on family reunion. These are some of my absolute favorite photos of her before all the grand-kids and great-grandkids and great-great-grandkids (but those are all really great too!). There's something about old photographs (most of these were taken in Cuba) that get me...but even more than that, the thought of seeing 100 years' worth of LIFE. The hardships and cross-cultural flux and the joy and the beauty and the absolute strength that it takes to endure all of these things with grace, a smile, a tender hug. To see a century and still have your health and mind. I am amazed, and completely and utterly thankful to be related to this woman. 

My Universal-Notizbuch

Hey internet! It's been a minute. I have SO many things to share, but that will come in time. Ahhh, time. That thing we never seem to have enough of, right? Haha. I'm hoping to be back on my semi-regular blogging schedule as finals and things allow, but for now, I thought I'd ease back into things by sharing this lovely notebook my friend brought back from Germany. I'm a moleskine kinda girl, but this adorable thing has totally captured my heart. It's practically pocket-sized! With GRAPH PAPER. I was told that there's an entire shop filled with these; mainly literature translated in German, English, and Spanish (?). And, obviously, blank notebooks. I MEAN. Tiny baby shelves lining the walls of this place...I can't even. Adding it to the list of Places I Must Visit Before I Die, Or Else. 

Sidenote: In conversation with said friend I decided that maybe Germans don't believe in mistakes, as there's no eraser on the pencil. Perhaps it's a character-building ideology? Es gibt keine fehler. Who knows. 

Hope you're having a great weekend! It's getting chilly! 

Hello hello hello to YOU, babydoll. Hello holiday season. You're cold (well, not today, but you will be!) and new and I'm glad you're here. It's weird, but I'm glad all the same. Layers like crazy in a week or two and pumpkin things and cinnamon. Scrambling to finish the semester, working on Christmas (shh!) gifts, and excited out of my MIND for friends coming home on holiday break. I try to be thankful on a daily basis, but you're the Big Annual Reminder of good things in my life. There's so much to be grateful for. Above all, Noviembre mi vida, BE SWEET. 

Pumpkin patch.

Pumpkin picking and carving this weekend with The Bird and The Boyfriend. I haven't done this since my freshman year of highschool! For shaaaaaame. Baby bird had never carved a pumpkin so we had fun making fall memories and establishing new traditions (: 

Five Things That Scare The Heck Outta Me

1. Horror movies. Obvious, right? The closest I've ever gotten to "scary" movies are The Shining and Silence of the Lambs...neither of which truly fall under that genre. Both are AMAZING movies, but watching them back to back alone in my apartment probably wasn't the brightest idea given my history. The trailer for Paranormal Activity 2 freaked me out in the theater, so I guess that tells you everything you need to know. 

2. The thought of being a parent. Given my current situation, it's not in the cards. I don't know where I'll be in five, ten, however many years, but I refuse to bring a child into this world and be responsible for raising it. Not that I'd be a bad mother, because I'm second mom to my sibs and they love me, haha. I'm all about family. But with all of my health issues and conditions prevalent in my family...it would irresponsible and absolutely kill me to raise a kid in that environment. I'm not anti-baby and I love the thought of adoption, but it will take a LOT of change and healing in this lady's life for that to happen. Sad day.

3. The thought of my family dying. It makes me sick. I've woken up screaming/in tears since I was a little kid from nightmares constituting this particular scenario. It's an honest-to-blog fear. But you can't go through life worrying about that. I just spend my days trying to be as present and engaged with them as I can be, and love on them as often as possible. That's all you can do, right? (:

4. Parasites. Namely internal/digestive ones. I mean, it happens. I've never had one, but there was that film in 9th grade biology that kind of ruined my life. So they freak me out.  Got a roach? Spider? Strange bug to swat? I'm your girl! No fear there. But these lil buggers, gah! When I was in Ethiopia I was surprisingly not as worried about it as I thought I would be...at least not by the third day of being there, haha. It's a gross thought, but at least you can get rid of em, right? 

5. Stomach flu/throwing up. Again, they happen. Part of life. Germs just come with the territory of living with younger siblings and a teacher mom, and working with people whose kids are in elementary school. I'm an admitted hypochondriac and emetophobic in this regard, though. I lived with my grandparents for three weeks when one of my sisters brought home a stomach bug that circulated around my house right before a big trip I had planned. That's just how I am. I deal with stomach troubles that're out of my control on a daily basis...a stomach flu is the last thing I need. I mean if I get sick, I get sick. But if I can potentially avoid it, I'll go to great lengths to do just that. How crazy do I sound right now? 

So, yeah. True story. Fear. It's a thing. What're some things that scare you silly? 

This time last year

Life was beautiful. Spending precious time with dearhearts out in Corpus and biking on the beach in Port Aransas. Not dressing up for Halloween and not caring because we were playing darts and hanging out in hammocks and sippin' celery sodas (what?!) and soaking up the sun and the autumn chill. And busting my foot open because I rode barefoot, whatev. This time last year I was hanging out with one of my best friends and our boyfriends. Two of the coolest, sweetest people you will ever meet. 

Miss it. PS my hair?! 

Defend, against the flux, the sameness of faces.

Photo

"Always, I grab it, the writing, hold it to me, defend, defend, against the flux, the sameness of faces". 

Yesterday was Sylvia Plath's birthday. That I could have walked with her, talked with her, or known her in the slightest would've been the greatest joy. Countless women have read her work and identified, myself included. Whether it's because she describes the meat of female humanity and madness to such a realistic extent, or because we're relieved to find we're not the only ones suffering or rejoicing in such ways (which is true; we're not the first and won't be the last)...whatever the reason, her words have a deep place in my heart. Happy belated my dear. 

"If I sit still and don't do anything, the world goes on beating like a slack drum, without meaning. We must be moving, working, making dreams to run toward; the poverty of life without dreams is too horrible to imagine: it is the kind of madness which is worst: the kind with fancies and hallucinations would be a Bosch-ish relief".

-The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath